Post by Captain Benjamin Maxwell on Jun 13, 2005 21:51:51 GMT -5
To the person who contacted me to request pictures of the stripper pole at the McDonald's on Mercury Boulevard, I apologize.
You see, I never made it out of the house.
For those of you who don't know, I am a chronic allergy sufferer. I fall into the oxymoronically-named category of individuals with "year-round seasonal allergies." And nothing really lifts the symptoms for me.
Except NyQuil.
Knowing full well I was going to have company over tonight, I popped two of the suckers right after I got home, at 5 PM. Now, no sane, rational individual, who knows the side effects of NyQuil, takes that large of a dose and hopes to continue functioning afterward. But no one ever called me sane. Or rational.
Within 45 minutes of popping the magic pills, I was feeling goooooooooooooooooooood. I don't have much memory of events past 6 PM, because, true to its advertising, NyQuil does, in fact, help you get your 'Zs.' Whether you want it to, or not, and as such, I spent the rest of the evening laying on the couch in an antihistimene-induced stupor, staring blankly at my laptop screen while I debated whether or not I was going to venture out to take the pictures.
Eventually, the drugs won out ariund 8:30, and the next thing I knew, it was 10:45, my head was spinning, and I had no clue where I was or what day it was. At that moment, I knew I was in no condition to go ANYWHERE except to bed.
So that's exactly what I did. Along the way, I pulled off a few more amazing stunts, including, but not limited to, trying to dry clothes in a dryer that hadn't been turned on, dialing a number into my cell phone and forgetting to press send; then, wondering what in the hell was wrong with it, and trying to open my laptop from the wrong side. I hope you'll understand why all of this made me less than enthusiastic about getting behind the wheel. I fully intend to take the pictures that were requested...just not tonight. There's too many crackheads downtown as it is.
I hope, in the meantime, that you'll accept the following haiku as compensation.
You see, I never made it out of the house.
For those of you who don't know, I am a chronic allergy sufferer. I fall into the oxymoronically-named category of individuals with "year-round seasonal allergies." And nothing really lifts the symptoms for me.
Except NyQuil.
Knowing full well I was going to have company over tonight, I popped two of the suckers right after I got home, at 5 PM. Now, no sane, rational individual, who knows the side effects of NyQuil, takes that large of a dose and hopes to continue functioning afterward. But no one ever called me sane. Or rational.
Within 45 minutes of popping the magic pills, I was feeling goooooooooooooooooooood. I don't have much memory of events past 6 PM, because, true to its advertising, NyQuil does, in fact, help you get your 'Zs.' Whether you want it to, or not, and as such, I spent the rest of the evening laying on the couch in an antihistimene-induced stupor, staring blankly at my laptop screen while I debated whether or not I was going to venture out to take the pictures.
Eventually, the drugs won out ariund 8:30, and the next thing I knew, it was 10:45, my head was spinning, and I had no clue where I was or what day it was. At that moment, I knew I was in no condition to go ANYWHERE except to bed.
So that's exactly what I did. Along the way, I pulled off a few more amazing stunts, including, but not limited to, trying to dry clothes in a dryer that hadn't been turned on, dialing a number into my cell phone and forgetting to press send; then, wondering what in the hell was wrong with it, and trying to open my laptop from the wrong side. I hope you'll understand why all of this made me less than enthusiastic about getting behind the wheel. I fully intend to take the pictures that were requested...just not tonight. There's too many crackheads downtown as it is.
I hope, in the meantime, that you'll accept the following haiku as compensation.
