Post by Captain Benjamin Maxwell on Dec 8, 2005 15:45:37 GMT -5
CHITLINS on...Disturbing the Peace
An essay by a crazy country boy
so last night I was sittin on the front portch with my dog homicide my twelve gauge and my quart of jack just mindin my own business when wouldn't you know it I heard a scream comin from billy dee's shed next door well I jumped up and whacked my head on the porch bulb and busted it all over the place and got a shock from it which I intend to sue general electric for and billy dee's hollerin for his wife bertha to bring the band aids whell I ambled over there and saw billy dee holdin his foot in a rag all tore up and raggedy lookin
well as it turnt out billy dee was workin on his d-r trimmer mower when all of a sudden she got the devil in her and started right up and bit clean through his shoe and hacked off a couple toes so billy dee's yellin and the mower's on top of him and homocide's barkin, and bertha comes out of the house carryin a bunch of grodey lookin rags and band aids yellin for me to call 911
well I wasn't about to go all the way back over to my trailer and miss the show and rack up some crazy ass long distance charges getting on the line with 911 so I yell back do it yourself woman at which point she turns to say somethin back to me and her 350 pounds loses balance and all of a sudden it was all arms and legs bouncin down her back portch and bustin through the plywood
so as I'm laughin and billy dee's cussin up a storm and bertha's knocked the hell out the sheriff shows up on account of he got a noise complaint of some sort me I think its just discrimination cause I'm white cause I sure as heck know I weren't disturbin the peace or recklessly discharging a firearm in public or whatever else they decide to charge me with until AFTER he showed up
anyway back to my beer oh yes one more thing no surrender
An essay by a crazy country boy
so last night I was sittin on the front portch with my dog homicide my twelve gauge and my quart of jack just mindin my own business when wouldn't you know it I heard a scream comin from billy dee's shed next door well I jumped up and whacked my head on the porch bulb and busted it all over the place and got a shock from it which I intend to sue general electric for and billy dee's hollerin for his wife bertha to bring the band aids whell I ambled over there and saw billy dee holdin his foot in a rag all tore up and raggedy lookin
well as it turnt out billy dee was workin on his d-r trimmer mower when all of a sudden she got the devil in her and started right up and bit clean through his shoe and hacked off a couple toes so billy dee's yellin and the mower's on top of him and homocide's barkin, and bertha comes out of the house carryin a bunch of grodey lookin rags and band aids yellin for me to call 911
well I wasn't about to go all the way back over to my trailer and miss the show and rack up some crazy ass long distance charges getting on the line with 911 so I yell back do it yourself woman at which point she turns to say somethin back to me and her 350 pounds loses balance and all of a sudden it was all arms and legs bouncin down her back portch and bustin through the plywood
so as I'm laughin and billy dee's cussin up a storm and bertha's knocked the hell out the sheriff shows up on account of he got a noise complaint of some sort me I think its just discrimination cause I'm white cause I sure as heck know I weren't disturbin the peace or recklessly discharging a firearm in public or whatever else they decide to charge me with until AFTER he showed up
anyway back to my beer oh yes one more thing no surrender